Draft #7




You...


Kau mengajarkanku untuk bisa tersenyum di berbagai situasi

Kau menunjukkan dunia baru padaku, keindahan yang selama ini tidak pernah kuketahui

Kau selalu bisa membuatku tertawa di saat aku tidak yakin untuk bisa tertawa lagi

Kau membuatku percaya terhadap sesuatu yang bernama “cinta”

Jemarimu yang besar dan kokoh menyentuh jemariku dengan lembut dan menggenggamnya erat

Aroma manis, kata-kata manis, sorot matamu… semua sudah melekat kuat dalam diriku

Kau hadir dalam hidupku saat aku membutuhkan seseorang untuk menyelamatkanku dan mampu memberikan kebahagiaan padaku

Bersamamu bagaikan berada di tempat yang sangat indah

You’re like an angel at that time, hugging me tightly and took me to the sky 

The highest sky…

But then, when the storm came, kau melepaskan pelukanmu dan membiarkanku terjatuh

Eventho at first you still hugging me but in the end you decided to letting me fall

Kau memutuskan untuk menyelamatkan dirimu sendiri dengan mengorbankanku

Ku hanya bisa menatapmu nanar selama aku terjatuh, terus melihat ke arah langit, menatapmu, hingga aku tidak bisa melihatmu lagi

I was crying out loud calling your name but you never fly down to rescue me. You never come…

I keep falling for… I don’t know how long. Because until a few moment ago, I’m still falling. Not touching the ground yet. I can’t imagine what kind of hurt that I’d feel when my body touching the ground.

Apakah sangat perih dan teramat sangat sakit seperti yang dirasakan oleh hatiku ketika mengetahui bahwa dirimu memang sengaja melepaskanku dan membiarkan aku terjatuh? Ataukah lebih sakit dari ini? Atau tidak sebanding?

Aku mulai mempertanyakan, apakah lebih baik merasakan sakit akibat patah tulang karena terjatuh dari langit? Ataukah sakit karena rasa kecewa, terkhianati, dan terbuang?

I close both my eyes, trying to wipe you off from my mind and my heart
But I can’t… it’s so hard to do that. 

Semua karena kau datang dalam hidupku di saat yang tepat. Saat aku memang mengharapkan kehadiran seseorang. 

Kau berhasil masuk ke dalam hidupku, melekat kuat dalam diriku bagaikan benalu yang telah menancapkan akar-akarnya teramat sangat dalam.

I know we have a different life, we can’t be together…

But why it’s still hurt whenever I see you? Why hearing your voice from a distance still easy for me? Why you’re still in my dreams?

I want to move on, but when I thought everything is start to be fine, you came.
Either in my dreams or we met in real life

It’s been months after that day...
The things that I know, I’m not the same person. Unconciously you made me to not believe in romantic relationship kind of love, doubting every guy who trying to get closer to me, and doubting with myself. “Am I worth to be happy emotionally?”
 I wish I'm emotionless,
or having an amnesia, just to forget everything bout you

Another thing that you’ve should know. YOU.SCREWED.MY.MENTAL.STATE. Thanks.

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